Sleeping at Home -- At Last

My champagne bucket is wearing a lampshade as though dressed for a party, the varnish on my wooden rhino appears to have suffered on the trip across the desert and I not only have enough glasses to open a restaurant, I have enough hand towels to furnish a spa.

Still, all's right with this world -- slept in the apartment last night! Hoping to bring Maggie "home" from her second home at Susan's by this weekend.

Today I determined that I could not unpack another box until I got rid of the empty ones and discarded another 16 big bags of packing paper. There simply was no place to put so much as a measuring spoon, as every surface was covered in unpacked items, and no way to get through the rooms, as massive flattened packing boxes blocked every route.

The city trash hauler offered to pick up everything free (an annual opportunity) but not until next Wednesday. Then on line I discovered the Haight-Ashbury Recycling Center. I loaded up the 16 bulging bags, drove off and disposed of them in huge bins. I returned home and loaded up every last flattened box -- too many to count. How did I accomplish this with one gimpy arm and two arthritic hands? Three boxes at a time. By the time I got back to the recycling center, I was as sweaty, unkempt and wild-eyed as some of the homeless people I've seen around town, but it felt so good to heave every last box into the bins -- three at a time until I was finished.

Then I marched into the Comcast cable office for the second time to discuss once again my concerns as a new customer. The first time, I went to argue that I was entitled to cable and high-speed internet service NOW, not in three weeks while the company waited for the former tenant's contract to expire. I won that one.

Or so I thought. On Monday when the technician arrived, he did not have a working cable card with him, but said he could sell me a box or set up another appointment. Joel had told me to reject a box and hold out for the card so we could set up my new TIVO, so I did as I was told. I didn't understand the implications, of course.

Last night I fell onto the couch, exhausted, and turned on the TV. "Run Auto Channel Scan," the screen said. I hit "Menu" and clicked on "Run Auto Channel Scan." The TV faltered a moment and then this appeared on the screen: "Are you sure you want to do that?"

It was like talking to Hal in "2001: A Space Odyssey." I ran the scan and discovered I get 12 channels, six of them in languages I do not speak. I spent 20 minutes on the phone with two people at Comcast (the phone dropped the first call) and then indulged in a "Live Chat" online session with someone at the company. The woman said the problem is that I don't have a cable box...

Undaunted, I went to the Comcast office today looking like hell and announced I was there to pick up my cable card. They gave me one! I also asked for a channel line-up for my TV package. Turns out I was enrolled in Bargain Basement Cable -- no Comedy Central, no AMC (and with "Mad Men" starting up soon!) and no Weather Channel. I promptly upgraded my service.

Next I went to hug Maggie and visit with Susan. Drove to Patricia and Joel's to visit with Banjo, their cat. (He yelled at me too.) I'm just a bad cat mom lately. And then I drove the Tree Sap Express (aka my hard-working Little Black Subaru Wagon) to the car wash. The young man who waited on me said, "I'll tell you our choices, you tell me what you want and I will take care of everything." I practically wept. I ordered an outlandishly expensive car wash and bought a Diet Pepsi, which I drank while sitting in the sun and that young man took care of everything.

Then I came home and started unpacking. Again.

Making the best use of kitchen cabinet space is a jigsaw puzzle. I solved it, and then found another box marked "Kitchen." That's why this evening the champagne bucket is wearing a lampshade as a hat. The linen closet is still unsolved. The utility closet is hilarious. The bedroom closet is full of clothes and various items are vying for space on the shelf. The office area of the living room is quite nice, but then I haven't unpacked three boxes marked "Desk." Overwhelmed tonight, I set one small goal: Clear off the kitchen table.

In the middle of that chore, I was inexplicably moved to switch the loveseat with the chair-and-a-half. Why? Because (Edward, where are you when I need you?) once again, just as I did 11 1/2 years ago at the condo, I had put the long piece of furniture on the short wall and the short piece on the long wall. I laughed the whole time I pushed and shoved these big pieces of furniture, remembering that Edward helped me solve the problem last time and surely moving the two pieces would this time, too.

Not so much.

But as my friend Charles always advises, "Live with it awhile."

Right now I am watching waves of fog race across the city. I think the weather is changing, and I say that with confidence -- even though I do not yet have access to the Weather Channel.